school

August 30, 2011

Rollhonour Ingreat

In previous articles I have discussed topics including "How to Get Your Child Ready for Back to School," and "How to Help Your Child Get Good Grades." These habits have been very successful for our children and I have insisted through the years that we keep the same rules because they were working. Depending on the personality of the particular child, you may receive more resistance, but I always held firm and they were very happy students in their senior year of high school because they had achieved a high GPA and even scholarships.

In the latter aforementioned article, one of the points discussed briefly was about providing a structured environment. This is such an important point, I wanted to elaborate on it in this article.

A structured environment consists of:

A) Doing homework at generally the same time each afternoon or early evening depending on your child's peak energy level. Most of the time, especially for elementary and middle school students, this is right after school, after they have a quick snack and go right to their homework.

You will need to plan your time so you can be at home with your children right after school if at all possible, or have supervision for them after school, to direct them to their studies and keep them focused until their homework is completed. If younger children are allowed to go outside and play after school; they are much more tired and less likely to be interested in doing their homework later.

B) If they have sports immediately after school, pick them up promptly, or let them know it is the family rule to come right home after practice. After practice is not the time for Mom/Dad to get involved in a lengthy discussion with a friend. Do that during practice! Some of our children's car privileges have been taken away if they fail to come straight home and their behavior changes rather quickly. Have dinner ready for them, so they won't be wasting time because of your disorganization.

C) Require younger children to get their shower immediately when they come in from sports or right after dinner. Strongly suggest to teenagers this is what needs to be done when they arrive home. This gives them an opportunity to "settle down" and "get their second wind" from a refreshing shower. Lots of times they don't have an appetite after a demanding practice, so this also gives them time to develop an appetite.

D) When ALL aged children ask to go somewhere, let them know they HAVE to have their homework done first. If it is a school concert or requirement they have to be at, then encourage them to shuffle practices around and skip practice that evening so they can complete their homework first. If they are teenagers, some teachers hand out agendas weeks earlier. They can get ahead on their homework, if they know they are going to have a busy week, like homecoming week.

E) Most children need a curfew, even teenagers. This means a time they must be at home without friends and without any outside activities. They need to use what little bit of the evening is left to get organized and plan for the next day. They think they are indispensable, until it is time to rise on time in the morning. This is something you have to be firm about, so they can focus and do well in school the next day.

F) There needs to be a curfew for phone and texting also. Sorry, but this essential because anything that distracts them from homework or getting ready for the next day, is a problem and will detract from their achievements.

G) Provide a relatively quiet environment after school for them to complete their homework. This may be at a desk in their room or at the kitchen table. If there is a tv program you "have" to watch, go to your bedroom so the television is not on in a common area distracting them from what they should be doing and check them often to make sure they are staying focused. A high-achievement environment usually has limited television viewing by parents and children during the week.

H) Plan ahead. Have a short family planning meeting early Sunday evening and review what needs to happen the upcoming week. If you know (by asking on Sunday evening for the week) your child has a project coming up or a special paper to write, ask them what supplies they need, so it is not 8 PM the night it has to be completed and you are going to the store to buy note cards, poster board, folders, markers, etc. When you find out, you can make a trip to the store, while they are in school or at practice, in order to have it waiting for them when they get home.

I) Set a conservative time and STICK to it that lights HAVE to be out. Don't be fooled that they are quiet in their room and they can still texting and/or watching a movie on their iPod or portable DVD player! Have a central location where the phones and iPods are recharged and check to see if they are there. Sorry, but we are talking superior grades and scholarships, here.

J) Have a standard that if grades fall below a certain level, they will have to drop the sport or other extracurricular activity until the GPA comes back up. They are most likely not going to the major leagues or the Olympics, but the academics are what will get them the admission to college and the good pay later on to support and take care of their families.

K) Teach them time management and planning. This is not going to happen over night. As they get older, they will get more of a grasp of what is required. Teach them to look ahead and use a planner, so they can visually see what is required of them for homework on each night. It is too easy for them to forget when they keep it in their head. Guide them to break up a project into segments and not wait till the last night before it is due, because something most likely always happens and it doesn't get done.

When you think about this topic, you can really understand how parents have so much power in their hands to guide their children and set them up for success. Some parents "get it" and others don't understand. If you start using these guidelines and adapt them to your family, your child WILL do very well in school and you can expect great things from them in high school, college, and the rest of their lives.

It takes sacrifice on the parents' and the student's part, but it is well worth it when they are excelling way above the average student. When your child enters school, attend all their award programs and notice through the years, the same last names and families keep coming up as they continue on a path to success and achievement. Follow these guidelines and your child will be right up there with them!

Rollhonour Ingreat

Originally published in 1897-1913. This volume from the Cornell University Library's print collections was scanned on an APT BookScan and converted to JPG 2000 format by Kirtas Technologies. All titles scanned cover to cover and pages may include marks notations and other marginalia present in the original volume.